Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Wifey Wednesday: THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT LDR (Long Distance Relationships)

Currently, I'm hooked in following Relationship Matters PH. Every Wednesday night at 9 pm, Richard and Maricar go live on their Facebook page to discuss a certain topic about relationships.

Last week's topic was: THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT LDR (Long Distance Relationships)

Pointers from their vlog:

  • LDR violates divine law (God's design for relationships). God's design for marriage - leave and cleave. First, leave parents / family home (bumukod). Second, cleave - stick to your spouse (magsama sa isang bahay). Cleave = stick together (physically, emotionally, financially).
  • Poon's rule - we can't spend more than 5 days apart
  • LDR only fulfills one emotional need (out of 10). LDR number 1 reason is for money. LDR only fulfills Financial Support need. How about the other 9? The other 9 needs are unmet.
  • No. 1 na nasisira sa LDR is man's need for sex. The man is bound to find another to have sex with in LDR. 99.99999% of LDR, nagloloko one of  the partners or both. LDR makes the man or the woman sexually adulterous.
  • 90% of women's top need is affection. No amount of technology can replace a hug. 
  • Family commitment - I will be there physically. Kulang ang one month na bakasyon. Lalo na sa mga anak, though they may not say it, paglaki nila may epekto talaga kapag wala ang magulang mo sa mga mahahalagang okasyon ng buhay mo. Quality time = Quantity time especially if you have kids aged 0-13 years old.
  • Honesty and openness - it's easier to hide things in LDR.
  • LDR increases the risk that your relationship will fail. Challenging na nga to make a relationship to work, hihiwalay pa kayo. Why risk it??!
  • Both should be active to learn and study (whether LDR or not)
  • Padala/gifts couldn't buy closeness.
  • "Why did God allow this to happen?" - a question many people ask. Do we sometimes blame God for our wrong choices?
  • LDR only works temporarily. The longer it is, the harder it gets to stay faithful.
  • Have a plan to live physically together. 
  • Story: simple husband and wife who didn't choose LDR. Even as minimum wage earners, they tried to find a way.  They are not too comfortable financially, but they are still together.
  • Maraming nagsasabi, sa Pilipinas walang opportunities. Di kami naniniwala doon. Talent + right attitude = possibilities
  • Daughter honors her dad in her wedding for not choosing to work abroad. "Kahit mahirap, pinili mo... just to be with us."
  • We try so hard na magpaka-yaman, tapos pag mayaman ka na you realize money cannot buy you happiness. May pera ka pero wasak naman pamilya mo.
  • To pursue money is good but not at the expense of family.

My personal opinion:
Lagi akong nakakarinig ng tanong "Bakit hindi mo pa pagbarkuhin si Duz para umasenso naman buhay niyo?" Yung mga pointers sa taas po ang sagot ko.  Hindi pa man nagawa 'tong video na ito, I strongly believed sa mga pinoint-out nila. Lalo na, I'm a product of a broken family because of LDR. I'm just blessed that Duz is also on my side. His dad is a seaman at hindi siya bilib sa naging effect sakanila ng pagkawala ng Daddy nila physically. Sabi nga niya, "Ayokong mangyari sakin at sa mga anak ko yung relationship na meron ako ngayon sa tatay ko." I'm glad there's a discussion like this. Dati kasi nahihirapan akong ipaliwanag yung paninindigan ko, parang naju-judge ako na hindi practical at wala sa tamang pag-iisip. Pero now, it's proven based of hundred LDR horror stories that it's so risky. That's a risk I won't take. 

How about you? Any suggestion how to rebuild a broken trust?
Kindly join Relationship Matters PH's live tonight at 9 pm.

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