Saturday, May 17, 2014

An Open Letter To My Husband On Our Fifth Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday, Duz and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. I think this anniversary was a little different. It was not one of extravagant celebrations. This anniversary felt like... a quiet, tranquil moment of gratitude. A gratitude to God's grace for seeing two imperfect humans through another year so I wrote this letter. 

To my husband, 

We didn't get each other gifts this year, so I decided to write you a blog post. 

Our wedding day wasn't perfect. It's not a church wedding like all other girls dream of. Our parents and other family members weren't there. We just asked some of our classmates to join us. :D We called it "secret wedding". But at the end of the day, it was the two of us silently celebrating the union of marriage. 

We got married pretty young and I have to honestly say I never really was prepared or realistic about whatever lay ahead. I have heard all the challenges, all the stories but like most people, I just thought maybe I was the exception. And that was failure on my part. 

When we decided to join our lives together I had dreams of flowers and romance and making each other happy. And there have been days like that. But the reality of our marriage has been so much more complex. We challenge each other and take on big challenges and lifetime commitments together. We make life changing decisions together. 

First year of our marriage, we knew that I was pregnant. I had to stop working because it's too risky for me and the baby. You worked as a company driver and provided for all our needs. Amazingly, we survived. 

Second year of marriage, I gave birth and returned to work. You had a job in the kitchen which you really loved but unfortunately you had to quit because someone needs to attend to our newborn baby. Salary-wise, I must stay with my job. As a househusband you felt like a loser being not the breadwinner. Culture dictates that if you choose this option, you'll be called names and whatnots. Nevertheless, we accepted this reality wholeheartedly. 

Third year of marriage, I jumped from one work to another and finally found a stable job. You started doing sideline by offering catering to small parties. You were the witness to all Chloe's first, a very hands on Daddy. We were starting off our family. 

Fourth year of marriage,  we moved out of our comfort zone. We lived in a not-so safe place and had a string of bad luck. We've been robbed, you've been framed up and I had traumas. We had trust issues we barely can't handle. It was surely a difficult year for us. Glad we got through the 4-year itch. 

Fifth year of marriage, we had a grand vacation in a private island. For the first time, we were able to spend a luxurious getaway. You started working with friend's business but decided to stay at home to look after Chloe. It was a battle between practicality and parenting. We dealt few heartbreaking conflicts with extended families. We started rebuilding our home. You had fun doing DIY furniture and caricatrait.  On the other hand, I created my blog and opened my online shop. These were new things that spiced up our lives. 

We are so completely different yet similar all at the same time. Your carefree spirit and impulsive attitude drew me to you; yet it is your carefree spirit and that daredevil character that make me go nuts sometimes! I have always said it is a fatal flaw of sorts. At the same time, I am sure though you have tolerated plenty of my own imperfections. An ongoing symphony of giving and taking. 

We haven't chosen an easy life. We both have opportunities to work abroad but whenever we talk about this, weigh our priorities and sort our feelings, it always boils down to one thing. It's more important to us that we stay together physically and emotionally than to have material things. For some, they call us impractical. We call it love. Complete happy family is our wealth. Glad we're on the same page.

Dad, I have to say, you are not perfect. You are so far from perfect. And so am I. But I also have to say I am really proud of the changes and growth you and I have gone through this past year. You have seen me at my worst and you love me anyway. You have been so incredibly mad at me and still you love me so much. At every juncture there is a choice to keep committing to our love or to get annoyed, give up and stop. Every time, you choose love. 

I know our life is not perfect, yet it is perfect for us, though it’s not a fairy tale. I am glad about the decision I took five years back to be your wife and that’s the best choice I have made in my entire life. 

Being married to you is the most interesting, challenging, mind-opening, loving, growth-inspiring decision I ever made. I look forward to many more years of crazy love. 

I love you more than yesterday and surely less than tomorrow. You are the best thing that happened to me. On this wonderful day, I pray for more years to be with you and grow old together. Happy anniversary!!! 

XoXo, 
Your Wifi

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