Monday, September 30, 2013

Facebook's Envy Effect

This post has been sitting in my draft folder for months now. To check this off my list, I am publishing it.

I've read a lot of different articles which I can relate to. This is all about the effect of social media. In today's world, parte na ng buhay naten ang mag-check ng FB, Twitter or Instagram. How do you feel after reading your newsfeed or checking your friend's wall? Do you feel better or worse?

Here's the first article I want to share.

I keep having the same conversation over and over. It starts like this: “I gave up Facebook for Lent, and I realized I’m a lot happier without it.” Or like this, “Pinterest makes me hate my house.” Or like this: “I stopped following a friend on Instagram, and now that I don’t see nonstop snapshots of her perfect life, I like her better.”

 My life looks better on the Internet than it does in real life. Everyone’s life looks better on the internet than it does in real life. The Internet is partial truths—we get to decide what people see and what they don’t.

Honestly, there are times I get depressed when I see that other people's lives are better than mine. It all starts     when I see their glamorous photos posted on FB. I start comparing my life with other human on this earth. Don't tell me ako lang ang ganito. At one point, I'm sure naramdaman niyo rin yan.

But seeing the best possible, often-unrealistic, half-truth version of other peoples’ lives isn’t the only danger of the Internet. Our envy buttons also get pushed because we rarely check Facebook when we’re having our own peak experiences. We check it when we’re bored and when we’re lonely, and it intensifies that boredom and loneliness.
When you’re laughing at a meal with friends, are you scrolling through Pinterest? When you’re in labor with your much-prayed-for-deeply-loved child, are you checking to see what’s happening on Instagram? Of course not. We check in with our phones when it seems like nothing fun is happening in our own lives—when we’re getting our oil changed or waiting for the coffee to brew.
But it only takes one friend at the Eiffel Tower to make you feel like a loser.

This is so true. There are days when I feel so small when I look at my friends' lives. I am certain that my life is a lot less darling than "her" life. I hate that feeling.

I know we should use social media to connect and to inspire us. I am getting there. Actually, when I entered the blogging world, my Facebook addiction lessened. I read blogs that inspire me and by doing that, it makes me a better person. Dati kasi, nag-stalk lang ako sa FB and most of the time I end up crying. Sadista lang. Now, I have more time to research and learn new things that I am interested to. I still check FB, Twitter and Instagram pero pag may extra time na lang ako.

Now I realized that almost everything posted online are the good things in someone's life. Karamihan saten, hindi naman ipapakita yung mga panget, mga problema at yung mga kulang sa buhay naten. Things you see online are people's partial truths and heavily filtered photos. You don't know the whole story of each post. Mapanlinlang ang mga litrato. Maaring nasa dream place mo siya pero hindi mo alam kung gaano siya kalungkot sa mga oras na yun. Maybe she has your dream job, pero di mo alam, never pala siyang nakaramdam ng fulfillment. Maaring akala mo perfect family sila, pero di mo alam kung paano sila magrambulan sa loob ng bahay.

I think the best lesson I've learned here is to stop comparing and start connecting. Next time na makaramdam ako ng inggit pag may nakita ako online, I'll make it my inpiration rathen that cause of my depression. I should also think na yung taong yun ay hindi perpekto. Ang buhay niya ay hindi perpekto. Lahat tayo ay may pinagdadaanan.

Stop watching someone's perfectly crafted life.

For many of us, walking away from the Internet isn’t an option. But using it to connect instead of compare is an option, and a life-changing one. Using technology to build community instead of building carefully-curated images of ourselves is an option, and a worthwhile one.
And on the days when you peer into the screen of your laptop and all you see are other people’s peak experiences that highlight your lack in that moment, remember that life isn’t about the story you tell about yourself on the Internet. It’s about a million more beautiful and complex things than that, like love and faith and really listening. It’s about using what you’ve been given to craft a life of gratitude and passion and grace.
Remember that the very best things in life can’t be captured in status updates.
Sana naka-relate ka sa post na 'to. If yes, I hope you learn something today.

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