Sunday, August 11, 2013

Mara the Dreamer

I had a very meaningful dream yesterday. I will try my best to illustrate it. Pictures are borrowed from the internet.

Duz and I were on a pool slide or a ride (I'm not sure.)

Buti na lang hindi ganito yun. Haha.

Parang ganito.

Huminto kame sa flat surface or what others call "plateau" and I told Duz "Hanggang dito na lang tayo. Di mo ba nakikita, tapos na."

But he continued to glide. Pag tingin ko sa harap, wala pa kame sa kalahati. Ang haba pa pala at ang dami pang ups and downs. Duz was enjoying the helluva ride, with his arms up high.


While he was having fun, I was stucked. I asked myself "Bakit siya ineenjoy lang niya, samantalang ako hindi na maka-move forward. Ano kaya ang secret niya?"

I realized that his position is different from mine. He was almost lying down and so carefree.

While I was in a sitting position and very hesitant.

So, ginaya ko yung way niya ng pag-slide and indeed it was amusing.

And we both had fun.

So what's the meaning of that? I to will try to interpret my own dream.

I admit, our marriage has hit a plateau. What is RELATIONSHIP PLATEAU? (I will further discuss this on my next post, so watch out!)

Some call it "the beginning of the end". It usually creeps in without you knowing how and when it happened. Relationship Plateau's are common occurrence. In a relationship, there will come a time when you stop seeing a growth. It feels like, no matter what you do, the end result would be you feeling: "Yeah, same shit, different day!" Men and women react differently on this.

Between Duz and I, I am usually the one who calls it off. I am very insensitive when I am mad that I usually say that I want to end our relationship. For the past few months, I felt so hopeless about our marriage. I knew we reached the point where love faded, and the flame just died. I already asked him so many times if I can just leave or if he can give me time and space to re-asses my feelings for him.

He, on the other hand, takes this matter lightly. He knew that I'm just stressed and maybe I just needed some "me time". Knowing him, he's very laid back and easy-going, the exact opposite of me. I was too hard on myself and on him. I always wanted him to meet my standards while he was just enjoying every minute of our  marriage.

I realized, I need to admit that there's no perfect marriage. We will always encounter highs, lows, ins and outs, fun times and scary moments. My note to myself: "Life (specifically marriage) is a roller coaster. You can either scream when you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it!"

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